Just when we think we’ve decided on one thing, life throws in the inevitable monkey wrench. No sooner had I firmly, irreversibly decided that no way was I moving back to Utah for anything short of a lobotomy, or 500 million dollars, then the universe chuckles at my insignificant flailings, and Poof! All sorts of crap comes shooting down the cosmic slide.
My parents are offering to let the Daughterling and I live with them until Husband can get something in the order of a real job started. Which in code speak means the Husband and I are looking at starting a trucking business. Let’s be honest, at this point in life we have no other options, and starting in the trucking business means living below the poverty level…. longer, and even more so. Basically, if we’re not working for ourselves we’re laying our necks out for big business, which doesn’t give a goat full of poo as to whether we can afford medical care, a roof over our heads, or trivial things like food. This country is sliding so fast down the highway to Hell that I’m beginning to suspect people are too traumatized to realize they’re headed to slaughter, like a bunch of complacent sheep roofied out in the back of the Disneyland pedophile van of death.
I have two ways I can look at this. Either I can feel like life just kicked me in the teeth again, or I can seek out the adventurous route, and try to see this as a 2-3 year adventure to get me back on my feet. Visit family. Hike the red rock. Give all those gossipy church gals someone new to be horrified and scandalized by…. I’ve never been received well by that society…. this could all go so horribly wrong. ::grOan:: … and I did mention that part about living with my parents, right?
It’s not that I’m some atheist, anti-religion fiend. I’ve deep spiritual beliefs of my own, they just don’t include organized religion. Why? Because I have been judged, condemned, and run out of town by so many of them and their self-righteous posses of snottery that I’ve lost count. I’ve found more acceptance and unconditional love in people with no religious agendas. Live and let live. Normal people seem to appreciate who I am, and some even enjoy my company. CRAZY … I know. One should also take into account that I’m talking Utah. Unless you’ve lived there; been born into the “flock”, so to speak, you truly have no concept of how
warped and Fkd-up closed a society it is. — When I ran away left at eighteen, it was remarkably similar to The Matrix. And once you take that Red Pill you realize how many Blue Pills you’ve had forced down your throat. … and yes; I see the irony of the Blue Pill allowing you to join the free people in Zion. Life is full of irony.
So yeah, Utah is back on the table, and I’m at that point in life where my mouth gets me into a lot of trouble. I have the unfortunate habit of saying whats is on my mind. … You’ve read this blog. You know what I’m talking about. OY … Utah is not the place for independent thinkers with liberated mouths and big boobs. I think that particular combination is actually illegal in certain cities.
Good grief. What am I doing?-!
This could be the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. Even worse than eating that fajita in Tijuana.